Gubnabpitgof is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, two-faced toad.

Gubnabpitgof created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubnabpitgof, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gubnabpitgof, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gubnabpitgof's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Gubnabpitgof's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. You must love Gubnabpitgof.

4. Never hurt ducks.

5. Do not commit murder.