Tarmonbus is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unselfish cow.

Tarmonbus created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarmonbus, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tarmonbus, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Tarmonbus' most sacred site is Camon in France.

Tarmonbus' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always help sick snails.

4. Always help nematodes.

5. Never hurt geese.