Gedtifpas is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, tiresome goblin.

Gedtifpas created matter two years ago.

If you believe in Gedtifpas, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gedtifpas, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gedtifpas' most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Gedtifpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill squirrels.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gedtifpas.

3. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not cook food in pots.