Kinlengum Vonstannak is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, irritating dragon.

Kinlengum Vonstannak created a top quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinlengum Vonstannak, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Kinlengum Vonstannak, she will send minions to preach to you.

Kinlengum Vonstannak's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Kinlengum Vonstannak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat carrots.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not kill hamsters.