Fonvonmiswig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, temperamental lizard.

Fonvonmiswig created the world eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fonvonmiswig, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fonvonmiswig, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Fonvonmiswig's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Fonvonmiswig's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always wear black.

3. Hide from green grasshopers for they are unholy.

4. Do not kill monkeys.

5. Fonvonmiswig loves swans, so they must be honoured.