Jappibteen is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, all-powerful chicken.

Jappibteen created Africa seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jappibteen, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jappibteen, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Jappibteen's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Jappibteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Jappibteen's name in vain.

2. Always help sick voles.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Shrews are not to be trusted.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.