Flamsanmat is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, clever porpoise.

Flamsanmat created oxygen nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flamsanmat, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Flamsanmat, he will have a low opinion of you.

Flamsanmat's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Flamsanmat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt cats.

2. Never eat tomatoes.

3. Always look after injured turtles.

4. Always help great tits.

5. Never talk about gravity.