Vogcimciss is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unsympathetic bat.

Vogcimciss created the Small Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogcimciss, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vogcimciss, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Vogcimciss' most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Vogcimciss' Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always wear black.

5. Never jump near goats.