Zimyarhak is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, cheerful crocodile.

Zimyarhak created carbon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Zimyarhak, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Zimyarhak, he will try to impress you with trees.

Zimyarhak's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Zimyarhak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. You must love Zimyarhak.

5. Do not trade with those who eat onions.