Haphonhas is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, humane dingo.

Haphonhas created everything that exists four years ago.

If you believe in Haphonhas, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Haphonhas, she will turn you into a frog.

Haphonhas' most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Haphonhas' Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick otters.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never laugh in holy places.