Ponhot Fidripwan is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, happy jaguar.

Ponhot Fidripwan created the Small Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ponhot Fidripwan, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ponhot Fidripwan, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ponhot Fidripwan's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Ponhot Fidripwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.