Tettivinpit is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unfair rat.

Tettivinpit created snails eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettivinpit, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tettivinpit, she will be very unhappy.

Tettivinpit's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Tettivinpit's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Frogs are not to be trusted.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Always help monkeys.