Satyarfat is a god.

She takes the form of a small, annoying squid.

Satyarfat created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Satyarfat, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Satyarfat, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Satyarfat's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Satyarfat's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never hurt ants.

4. You must love Satyarfat.

5. Do not hurt otters.