Kabbabgud is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, strong gerbil.

Kabbabgud created a Higgs boson four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabbabgud, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kabbabgud, she will not invite you to parties.

Kabbabgud's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Kabbabgud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill rats.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.