Nuttlatpodsasquat is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, duplicitous whale.

Nuttlatpodsasquat created a charm quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttlatpodsasquat, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nuttlatpodsasquat, he will manifest in front of you.

Nuttlatpodsasquat's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Nuttlatpodsasquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always help porpoises in need.

5. Pray towards the west.