Femflatvonk is a god.
He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, sage
scorpion.
Femflatvonk created viruses seven trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Femflatvonk, he will grant your every wish.
If you do not believe in
Femflatvonk, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.
Femflatvonk's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.
Femflatvonk's Holy Commandments1. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.
2. Never eat wheat.
3. Never pour water over plants.
4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.
5. Never wear dresses.