Higfom Zogmadyam is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, fast donkey.

Higfom Zogmadyam created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Higfom Zogmadyam, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Higfom Zogmadyam, he will turn you into a puffin.

Higfom Zogmadyam's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Higfom Zogmadyam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in red rooms.

2. Do not dye your hair white.

3. Always wear turquoise.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Worship no other gods but Higfom Zogmadyam.