Farnlunflab Gigcemcat is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-powerful horse.

Farnlunflab Gigcemcat created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnlunflab Gigcemcat, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Farnlunflab Gigcemcat, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Farnlunflab Gigcemcat's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Farnlunflab Gigcemcat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

2. Never talk about otters.

3. Never sing near nematodes.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Farnlunflab Gigcemcat.