Quafkipdub is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, proud donkey.

Quafkipdub created the planet Earth three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quafkipdub, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quafkipdub, she will try to impress you with trees.

Quafkipdub's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Quafkipdub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill swans.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Quafkipdub on top of all buildings.

5. Do not listen to music.