Rilhaplig is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, astonishing rhinoceros.

Rilhaplig created the planet Jupiter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilhaplig, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Rilhaplig, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Rilhaplig's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Rilhaplig's Holy Commandments

1. Great tits are not to be trusted.

2. Run away from mauve monkeys, for they are unholy.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.