Zagnell is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, loving bird.

Zagnell created life four years ago.

If you believe in Zagnell, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zagnell, she will come to you in dreams.

Zagnell's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Zagnell's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not dye your hair white.

3. Always obey Zagnell's priests.

4. Hide if five aardvarks approach from the north.

5. Never paint your back magenta.