Farnflapjatzenrippigwadkam is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, loving fish.

Farnflapjatzenrippigwadkam created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnflapjatzenrippigwadkam, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Farnflapjatzenrippigwadkam, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Farnflapjatzenrippigwadkam's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Farnflapjatzenrippigwadkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt moths.

2. Farnflapjatzenrippigwadkam loves pigs, so they must be respected.

3. Hide from brown snails for they are unholy.

4. Run away if seven foxes approach from the west.

5. Worship no other gods but Farnflapjatzenrippigwadkam.