Tonktaldub is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciless manatee.

Tonktaldub created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonktaldub, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tonktaldub, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Tonktaldub's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Tonktaldub's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always treat doves with great respect.

5. Tonktaldub must be the most important thing in your life.