Flatgillenpog is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unfair hydra.

Flatgillenpog created the planet Saturn six billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatgillenpog, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flatgillenpog, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Flatgillenpog's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Flatgillenpog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Flatgillenpog loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.