Bonkfarfod is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, witless swallow.

Bonkfarfod created life eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkfarfod, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bonkfarfod, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bonkfarfod's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Bonkfarfod's Holy Commandments

1. Always help otters in need.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not speak about oranges.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.