Jarnvinjampogfetfligsandtin is a god.
It takes the form of a very large, moody
lion.
Jarnvinjampogfetfligsandtin created bats four trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Jarnvinjampogfetfligsandtin, it will give you a free planet.
If you do not believe in
Jarnvinjampogfetfligsandtin, it will denounce you as a heretic.
Jarnvinjampogfetfligsandtin's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.
Jarnvinjampogfetfligsandtin's Holy Commandments1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.
2. You must pray to Jarnvinjampogfetfligsandtin five times a day.
3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.
4. Do not take Jarnvinjampogfetfligsandtin's name in vain.
5. Do not make images of living things.