Jarnvinjampogfetfligsandtin is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, moody lion.

Jarnvinjampogfetfligsandtin created bats four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnvinjampogfetfligsandtin, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jarnvinjampogfetfligsandtin, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Jarnvinjampogfetfligsandtin's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Jarnvinjampogfetfligsandtin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

2. You must pray to Jarnvinjampogfetfligsandtin five times a day.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not take Jarnvinjampogfetfligsandtin's name in vain.

5. Do not make images of living things.