Tailstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, ruthless salamander.

Tailstaf created the Sombrero Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailstaf, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tailstaf, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Tailstaf's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Tailstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to seals while wearing mauve rings.

2. Never wear fawn dresses.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

4. Never paint your legs white.

5. Retreat if nine monkeys approach from the north.