Quagbemyatt is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, effective wolf.

Quagbemyatt created the cosmos six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagbemyatt, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Quagbemyatt, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Quagbemyatt's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Quagbemyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Quagbemyatt.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Erect seven tin sculptures of Quagbemyatt on top of important buildings.

4. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

5. Never pour water over plants.