Hasvonfomfom is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, selfish mink.

Hasvonfomfom created matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hasvonfomfom, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hasvonfomfom, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Hasvonfomfom's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Hasvonfomfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt frogs.

2. Never skip in the presence of tortoises.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not take Hasvonfomfom's name in vain.