Bitnurtladkam is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, almighty octopus.

Bitnurtladkam created the cosmos two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitnurtladkam, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bitnurtladkam, he will be very sad.

Bitnurtladkam's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Bitnurtladkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in red rooms.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bitnurtladkam.