Gatvanjin is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, generous centipede.

Gatvanjin created oxygen four years ago.

If you believe in Gatvanjin, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gatvanjin, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gatvanjin's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Gatvanjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of badgers.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never paint your legs green.

5. Fast once a month.