Wapcub is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, boastful manatee.

Wapcub created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapcub, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Wapcub, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Wapcub's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Wapcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Wapcub on top of all buildings.

3. Do not eat corn.

4. Do not kill dolphins.

5. Never talk about fire.