Cumwadcuss is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, irritating wombat.

Cumwadcuss created a strange quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumwadcuss, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cumwadcuss, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Cumwadcuss' most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Cumwadcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Cumwadcuss must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Cumwadcuss loves badgers, so they must be respected.