Dandotvilnulrip is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, impressive gorilla.

Dandotvilnulrip created oxygen two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dandotvilnulrip, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dandotvilnulrip, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Dandotvilnulrip's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Dandotvilnulrip's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

2. Retreat if eight bats approach from the north.

3. Never talk about monkeys.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.