Bityokarf is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, emotional gnu.

Bityokarf created the planet Earth eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bityokarf, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bityokarf, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Bityokarf's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Bityokarf's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never hurt horses.

4. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

5. Erect a large tin sculpture of Bityokarf on top of all buildings.