Jancumxem is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, unfair donkey.

Jancumxem created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jancumxem, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jancumxem, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Jancumxem's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Jancumxem's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three tin sculptures of Jancumxem on top of important buildings.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Always help sick mites.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always wear blue.