Looplargvad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, smart jaguar.

Looplargvad created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Looplargvad, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Looplargvad, it will turn you into a worm.

Looplargvad's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Looplargvad's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Looplargvad.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Looplargvad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.