Kemgedxemhom is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, unselfish gnu.

Kemgedxemhom created gold eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kemgedxemhom, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kemgedxemhom, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Kemgedxemhom's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Kemgedxemhom's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Kemgedxemhom.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Hide if four aardvarks approach from the north.

4. Do not dye your hair blue.

5. Kemgedxemhom must be the most important thing in your life.