Hivtagqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, happy armadillo.

Hivtagqueeg created everything that exists three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hivtagqueeg, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hivtagqueeg, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Hivtagqueeg's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Hivtagqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta mites for they are unholy.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

4. Hivtagqueeg must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not shave your back.