Tailneljab is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, conceited raccoon.

Tailneljab created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailneljab, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tailneljab, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Tailneljab's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Tailneljab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Put Tailneljab first in all things.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.