Stipkemjap is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, thoughtless raven.

Stipkemjap created Mount Everest six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stipkemjap, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Stipkemjap, it will throw large rocks at you.

Stipkemjap's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Stipkemjap's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry squirrels.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always help voles.

5. Worship no other gods but Stipkemjap.