Higboncin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, narcissistic wren.

Higboncin created gold two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Higboncin, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Higboncin, she will turn you into a slug.

Higboncin's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Higboncin's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed apples to snakes while wearing brown shirts.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Retreat if six sheep approach from the east.