Gutkapquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, capable capybara.

Gutkapquaf created the Virgo Supercluster nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutkapquaf, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gutkapquaf, she will jump up and down on your head.

Gutkapquaf's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Gutkapquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five sharks approach from the east.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Run away if eight aardvarks approach from the north.

4. Never laugh in the presence of shrews.

5. Never think about gravity.