Cundobkik is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, witless faun.

Cundobkik created an atom six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cundobkik, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cundobkik, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Cundobkik's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Cundobkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about corn.

2. Retreat if seven turtles approach from the north.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.