Laptalyat is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, all-knowing walrus.

Laptalyat created the Virgo Supercluster five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Laptalyat, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Laptalyat, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Laptalyat's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Laptalyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Put Laptalyat first in all things.