Kabnegbonk is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, unthinking fly.

Kabnegbonk created the planet Earth four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabnegbonk, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kabnegbonk, it will turn you into a snail.

Kabnegbonk's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Kabnegbonk's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Kabnegbonk seven times a day.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Put Kabnegbonk first in all things.