Wapfitfig is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, competent hyena.

Wapfitfig created the Virgo Supercluster four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wapfitfig, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wapfitfig, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Wapfitfig's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Wapfitfig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Wapfitfig's name in vain.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Wapfitfig.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.