Nurlabnart is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, resourceful aardvark.

Nurlabnart created a Higgs boson three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlabnart, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nurlabnart, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Nurlabnart's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Nurlabnart's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Nurlabnart.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always pray immersed in water.