Vonktomarp is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, merciful human.

Vonktomarp created the Virgo Supercluster five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonktomarp, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vonktomarp, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Vonktomarp's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Vonktomarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not wear magenta clothing.

5. Do not shave your hands.