Ranzakciss is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, idiotic toad.

Ranzakciss created carbon four million years ago.

If you believe in Ranzakciss, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Ranzakciss, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ranzakciss' most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Ranzakciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never go into blue rooms.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.